THE BUTTON PRIVACY POLICY Please read this policy carefully.

1. SCOPE This policy applies to the Button and this page.

2. DATA CONTROLLER The person pressing the Button controls the Button. For the duration of the press, this appears to make you the Data Controller. Please exercise your authority responsibly.

3. INFORMATION WE COLLECT The Button processes a click when you press it. It does not collect your name, address, date of birth, contacts, photographs, location, browsing history or financial information.

4. PURPOSE The click is processed so that pressing the Button causes the Button to do what the Button does.

5. COOKIES This page does not use cookies. It does use donuts, pizza, and tacos.

6. LOCAL STORAGE If you press Save in Options, your selected settings — language, confetti colours, shape, effect, sound, density, size, speed, volume and button colour — are stored as a single entry in your browser’s local storage. That information remains on your device and is not sent anywhere by this page. Clearing the site data for this page removes it. The page also loads its own files, including sound files, from the server hosting it. The hosting provider may maintain ordinary server access logs.

7. CONFETTI Confetti is generated locally on your device. It produces no litter, enters no waterways, contributes no microplastics, requires no cleaning up and cannot be eaten by wildlife. No food is diverted from human consumption for its production. It will not stick in the hairspray of your fourth-grade teacher.

8. SOUND The page may play sound when instructed to do so. No listening history is maintained.

9. SHARING The Button does not sell, rent, exchange or otherwise disclose your saved settings.

10. THIRD PARTIES The Button has no advertising partners, analytics partners, data brokers or strategic partners. This has simplified meetings considerably.

11. PROFILING The Button does not profile you. Pressing the Button is not considered sufficient evidence from which to draw reliable conclusions about character.

12. AUTOMATED DECISION-MAKING The Button responds automatically when pressed. This is intentional.

13. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE Artificial intelligence is not used to determine whether the Button has been pressed.

14. RETENTION Saved settings remain in your browser’s local storage until you clear the site data. Temporary visual effects remain only as long as required to display them. There is no retention committee.

15. YOUR RIGHTS Depending on applicable law, you may have rights relating to personal information.

16. ACCESS You may request access to information held about you. As no such information is held, the response may be so concise as to be effectively invisible.

17. CORRECTION If information held by the Button is inaccurate, you may request correction.

18. DELETION You may delete saved settings by clearing this page’s site data. Resetting the Button resets the Button.

19. DATA PORTABILITY Information stored in your browser remains in your browser. You are free to transport the browser, the device containing it, or yourself. The Button does not provide baggage assistance.

20. INTERNATIONAL TRANSFERS The Button does not intentionally transfer your saved settings between countries. If you take your device across an international border, the Button will not intervene.

21. SECURITY The Button uses security measures proportionate to the information it handles.

22. DATA BREACHES Any applicable breach obligations will be dealt with as required. The preferred breach-prevention strategy remains not collecting unnecessary data in the first place.

23. CHILDREN The Button does not knowingly collect personal information from children. It does not knowingly collect it from adults either.

24. BIOMETRIC DATA The Button does not collect biometric data. Touching the screen does not alter this.

25. ACCEPTABLE USE Press the Button as directed. Do not interfere with the Button. Do not reverse engineer the Button. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

26. CHANGES TO THIS POLICY This policy may be changed when necessary. The current version applies.

27. GOVERNING LAW Applicable law applies. Physics also continues to apply.

28. CONTACT The Button does not maintain a customer service department. This arrangement has produced no unresolved support tickets.